The sibling syndrome – revisited

After my last post about siblings of people with disabilities, my friend Rachel Simon (who wrote the very fine book Riding the Bus With my Sister) pointed out that there is an excellent organization that helps with sibling issues.

It’s called the Sibling Support Project, a nationwide support system for brothers and sisters of people with special health, developmental or mental health needs. The project trains service providers throughout the United States on how to implement the Sibshop program. This program helps siblings know they are not alone with their unique concerns.

Support for siblings of all ages

The project seeks to provide support not only to children but also to teens and adult siblings. An excellent video has been released about the sibling project. It features siblings of all ages talking about the joys and trials of having a family member with a disability.

I am so glad that our society is open enough to talk about such issues and to find ways to help families cope with disabilities. I only wish these services had been available when my Dad was growing up during the Depression.

His younger brother, my Uncle Melrose, had an intellectual disability and at the time, there were no services to help the family. My uncle couldn’t even go to school because there were no special education classes.

A childhood lost

As a result, my Dad — the oldest of five children — was called into service to take care of Melrose. My Uncle, who was nicknamed Pie, was anything but the saying “easy as pie.” He was often frustrated at his limitations and in response, he threw violent tantrums. He couldn’t dress himself and he needed help with almost everything. My Dad became his caretaker.

The situation robbed Dad of much of his childhood. I have often wondered how his life — and Uncle Melrose’s — would have been different if the world had been more open to them.

I’ve wondered what Pie might have learned if he had been able to go to school. And I’ve wondered if Dad could have been more emotionally open if he had been able to be around others who understood his situation.